Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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