So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we're chasing vodka with high fives
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
