Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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