Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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