Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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