It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize