Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
