so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
