I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize