i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
