I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
