I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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