There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
