He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
