We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
