you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
