In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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