This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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