What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
