That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
