I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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