Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
