dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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