even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize