Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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