Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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