Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
