giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just forgot I was standing up.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
