She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
