I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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