I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
