i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
