I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
