Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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