This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Come share oat with me in your robe
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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