Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
