brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Randomize
