Me too!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He passed out mid-signature
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
