STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
