I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
