If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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