i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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