meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize