bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
