Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
