why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
