told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
only you would photoshop your dick
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
