All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
