I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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