we have pet lesbian snakes
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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