Porn is love you can see.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
