i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
