; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
