ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize