yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The power of my boobs compel you
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
