We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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