Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
