I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
