He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
