the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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