Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize