So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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