too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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