Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
