OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
