girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize