No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
