My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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