Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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